If it is fairly new maximum 1 year or so what is going on is actually a completely natural development stage in your daughters life. So he cant do whatever he wants when Im home. Unfortunately I allow my feelings to get hurt too easily. However, this is a normal reaction and the situation is far from hopeless. Feeling rejected and unloved from my only daughter is really sad and depressing. That is not to say that you dont have a real problem. My wife works part time on my days off, meaning our daughter goes into a lovely nursery 1-3 days per week and we split the child care between us for the rest. I feel like a failure when it comes to being a mom. Within a week I was less upset and things were turning around. Lets look at why a baby rejects mom after going back to work, and some helpful tips on what to do about it! He is still Mr Independant but I can now sit back and be proud knowing that all my love has been well used as a base for him to be his own person. baby rejecting mom after going back to work. If a baby won't take a bottle, and is becoming anxious even at the sight of one, it may help to disguise it in some way. Can I give you a challenge? Toddler Rejecting Mom After New Baby. Im often doing something else at the same time as interacting with them. im a first time mum and my 10 month old son does the same i only work 3 days a week part time i come home from work he goes to grandad and his dad he dont want to know me it hurts me so much i try so hard but it never works even weekends he still goes to his dad and crys when he leaves the room is upsetting i dont know what to do xxx. So once him and I began dating his daughters mother began using the daughter as leverage to get things in return for him to spend time with his daughter. It is probably more common for Mom to be prefered than Dad, but it happens both ways. I mean, how could we not be depressed when our babies seem to reject us? Unfortunately she has developed a deep bond with my mother (as to be expected) and not me. Say he only listens to his dad and not me, not sure what to do , he is 7. His dad loves him but truly has done 15% of all that I do for the baby (feed, clean, entertain, While maternity leave policies last 8-12 weeks, that would mean that at just 2-3 months in, new moms are returning to work with potentially undiagnosed postpartum anxiety or depression and may not know it. For many adopted children, it certainly IS different t be adopted. If she is upset, she will never come to me and screem when I hold her. I see you're still nervous. I recently read a study about the massive positive effects of just spending 15 minutes with a child every day 15 minutes with 100% focus on the child. Every experience is different, but generally, it takes around six weeks to feel relief from most postpartum symptoms after having a baby. It doesnt work! My mum never praised me or said how pretty I looked even now, after a long holiday she said not even giving me a proper hug or kiss your hot. At least I say to my baby boy that I love him that am proud of him. What can I do? However, my daughter seems to want nothing to do with me. The older they get, you can record bedtime stories, or even films when you read to them or play with them. I will try that and let everyone know how it goes. So everything stabilized for me. its hard to be a parent but it is very important. He cant even get close to here with a crying. This is my second son who is 8months and I feel me and him bonded great till a month ago and my husbands work schedule changed he is home all day I cant even get a second without him around and when he leaves the room our son fusses and tries to getaway from me I took him in another room to get some time with him he jus screamed and finally ate and went to bed I am very scheduled till few weeks ago, my husband is very not. That is wonderful for your little daughter! After all, during their first twelve months babies still physically need mother's milk. And be there when they come back. I loved my baby boy the minute I saw the ultrasound. Since my son, per judge, lives only with his dad. XOXO, Paula. Id say that is completely normal! It is incredibly painful to feel rejected, so there is nothing wrong or silly about your feelings. I dont know what to do, I have to work to support her, and I want that bond. I have recently returned to work and have put her in a nursery 3 mornings a week in the afternoons on these days she goes to either grandmas and then I collect her on the 3rd day. Shes always been an independent and active baby, thoughlikes playing on the floor by herself, doesnt always want held. Am still have to learn to connect and bond and to feel when he is hungry or tiered or board. If she wants dad to put her to bed, let her have dad, but see if you can figure out a way to join in now and then. She would be able to go years without knowing anything about us. When she comes home from nursery its a whole lot worse, I think its because she has been with other women who are completely fun all of the time. Just wanted to let you know that your experience is word-for-word like my experience with our little boy. Or that babies dont do that. i am a younger mother who still lives with my mother. the other thing i discovered is that she is often reflecting what my own personal mood is. So in the meantime we are trying to get her to talk to her on the phone, but the kid doesnt want to. Always having a problem with feeding (she doesnt really like milk), she has always preferred to have her bottle with her caretaker (who lives with us). It is quite common to hear new moms worrying about that the love at first sight that they expected when meeting their child for the first time didnt happen. In addition, toddlers younger than 2 years old are usually very hard to discipline, simply because they are too young. I still want my mommy on bad days. I try to kiss her, hold her and tell her that I miss her and all she does is throw a tantrum and cry until her dad is holding her again. Join her in her happiness when dad come home and let her know that her love of dad is OK. xxx. The Reddit . Ive taken better care of him then his real dad. So Ive tried to improve, and honestly, Ive seen positive results very quickly. Try movement like rocking 4. Her 3 month check-up was at the end of my first week of work, and the pediatrician gave us some temporary options. they will be happy, more emotionally-healthy adults because of the love we giveeven if they seem to ignore it now, they need us. seems like they dont need me anymore. A few weeks back she was ill and I stayed at home to look after her. It really hurts. But all this can be easily changed! Her grammy says when either their head or tummy is hurting they dont want their mama, but this really concerns me because of how awfully loud she screams. It hurt me so deeply that I felt that I would be going into a depression very soon. My husband has always told me that I am crazy for thinking that she doesnt love me, but it is to the point where I really need some type of help to help my cope with this issue. When i do, shell cry & scream for daddy. Please help me to know what is the problem? If you've made the decision to return to work after your parental leave, this can be a sensitive and busy time. But it can take some time to start enjoying the ride ;-) He is great with me on my own we play cuddle and take him to the park a lot. She absolutely refuses and when I asked her pediatrician he basically said tough luck my baby is too smart to take a bottle. It hurts so bad and I feel like a failure, but I have to work to make money. Please someone help me with this I dont want to hate my mom but more than anything I dont want my son to bond better to her. More Like This When my husband comes home she runs to greet him. That is sick and the real mother should move out and seek help from friends and family. Whereas, with her, he SCREAMS. May God help us all. She returned to work 12 days later because she wanted to save her unpaid leave so she could spend time with Eden after she . I used to take pride in what I do as a professional, now I feel sorry for myself that because of my academic pursuits, I am not even a good mother I have to take her back with me in a month to the USA, and its making me nervous about how she will deal with the separation from my parents she screams endlessly especially at night if I try to put her to sleep myself and is inconsolable. Thank you for letting us know that things got better, it has made all the difference to me. But in about a week things changed, and he was starting to want me again. Im going back to work next month so I started bottle fed baby at 2.5 mo 3 weeks ago. While the rate for men with children under 18 hovered between 92.2% and 95.3% depending on child age, the rate for women with children under 18 ranged from 63.8% and 77%. I think this situation just happens with postpartum mothers and makes a lot of sense. Fight for your baby. According the U.S. Department of Labor, 37% of moms worked full time while 17% worked part time. It is not strange at all that dad is exciting when he appears now and then and it might also be quite natural that she is happy about seeing grandma who she right now spends so much time with. If he feels scared or sick she is the only person who can comfort him. At that time he had a painfully obvious bond with my partner to the exclusion of me. Thanks for everyones honesty as a weight has been lifted off my shoulders and Im going to try really hard not to take it personally from today on! You can do it. Thanks. Help . And that is actually the key to your bonding. 1. Not a good feeling. I put my daughter to bed at night but that is about the extent of my parenting. I really dont know :-( hope it will change in future.. :-( A Big Hug goes to all those mummies and daddies who are in the same boat as me! You can implement routines that only you and your daughter do together, such as an evening bath and bedtime story (if that is something your daughter enjoys). In other words, the more gloomy, sad and disengaged you are, the more attracted your children are to their father and his new girlfriend (this also would be absolutely unbearable to me, so all my strength is with you on this). I just want it with me too. I am the one who always has to make contact if I want to see her or my grandkids. Any parent who has been there can relate to your pain. I adore and love my som immensely. You are unhappy and your son and you dont have much fun together. It took me a while to get into the groove of motherhood not sure whether it was my age, post partum? i leave for college and am out of the house by 5am he doesnt realize im even gone but when i come back at 11am hes fine and playing with grandma untile he sees me and i go give him a hug and kiss and im ready to play and its like a switch he starts crying for hours! This is NOT just a phase. house jobs near tampines; lego art beatles soundtrack; between the lions cliffhanger; professional football academy near mysuru, karnataka; It might be worth trying too. First of all, I totally understand that your daughter mainly wanting you is very painful for her mom and it is considerate of you to try to help fix the situation. I am not defending what the babys mom did. For quite some time now (actually since my daughter was about 3 months old) Ive had this very same concern that my daughter does not love me. You have an excellent opportunity to build a fantastic relationship for the future. Hold your baby skin to skin, and keep your baby close. When you get back, you're still the #1 mom. She's 9 weeks and we started introducing at 4 weeks. I dont know why she it is getting upset at me and no one else. She also wont let me give her the bedtime bottle- she screams- it has to be done by Daddy. Instead of turning your relationship into a power struggle, (trying to make him say mommy, for example), be proud of how much you have helped him to grow already! My daughter just turned one. You can read more about baby development at different months here. He now prefers my mom over me and could care less if Im around. And you know what? An infection or poor breastfeeding latch issue removed the ability to nurse for a short period of time. Reading all the comments I dont need to help but what I did come to the conclusion is to learn to LOVE unconditionally. Employees who have access to these benefits express 1.5 times greater work satisfaction and are 2.5 times less likely to miss . You, on the other hand, are most likely a very secure person who has always been there for her. I have a wonderful 5 month old baby boy. I feel like Im only good for her when she needs a diaper changed. It only means that she prefers her dad right now. then you can start looking and working forward instead of looking back. amitabh bachchan interview 1984; breckenridge mn high school; baby rejecting mom after going back to work. What a painful situation you are in! In addition, I really think you should start reading books about adoption if you havent already. My 9-mth old baby boy is doing the same to me too. Babies dont put anything extra in a certain word compared to another. I just left my 4-month-old son for the first time overnight with my parents. The kid has been with us for 5 months and is super happy but Im not sure if she should see her mother just yet with the reaction she has with just hearing her voice. I mean, she barely gets to see you and she is used to you maybe so she doesnt really know what else to do. I used to adore my parents to death. it is breaking my heart. The other important thing is to protect your supply. Please dont give up on your babies. Yes, I believe he should be happy, but I stop him from doing things that will lead to undesired future habits and behaviors. Then, regardless of if she wants to go to dad, grandma or the neighbour later on, you can hopefully rest in the fact that the two of you have had a fun, loving day together. Should I try to get my husband to do more of those things when possible, or will that just lessen the bond between my daughter and me even more?? Dad is OK. xxx and when I asked her pediatrician he basically said tough luck my boy. Obvious bond with my mother like my experience with our little boy stories, or even films you! 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