Once the cat is in the final active stage of dying, do not force him to eat or drink. Toxins building up in the body can cause the cat to take on an unpleasant odour. Use a stopwatch or your smartphone to count how many breaths she takes in 60 seconds. Some of these or all of these could happen. Each of these symptoms can be associated with aging in cats, but should always be explored by your veterinarian just in case. It's okay to cry and be sad. When you live with a pet day in and day out, it can be … As the cat weakens, he may have low or no control over his urinary tract and bowels, so you may notice accidents around the house. He still has more good than bad days, but the progression is there. If you are ever feeling sad, stop for a moment and think that your cat was in pain, and that she's in a better place now. I needed to know that because he is feral and doesn't have a vet. A lowered heart rate is a sign that the cat may be getting weaker and nearing death. Sleeping more and ultimately loss of consciousness. He had … … With proper intervention, however, a cat with chronic kidney disease could live for many years. If you choose euthanasia, the vet will administer a sedative followed by a medication that causes him or her to pass away peacefully. Signs Your Cat Is Dying ", After so many diagnostics and thousands of dollars, I was told the horrible news of my best friend. If your cat tries to pee and can't, take them straight to a vet, because this can be very dangerous for any cat, whether they have cancer or not. Respect your cat’s wishes. Hearing is one of the last senses to go, so keep talking to the cat; he can still hear you. Increased sleep and lethargy: The cat sleeps more in the final days but can become restless due to decreased oxygen in the blood. ", she's still alive. Sit near your cat and quietly listen to his/her breathing. This article has been viewed 1,152,339 times. As blood flow decreases, the tissues don’t receive enough oxygen, which in turn causes the colour to change from pink to bluish-grey. How can I help my cat if she's not eating? Grieving starts before your cat has passed away, not after, unless it was a sudden death. She has, "I never knew about grief counselors that specialize in the loss of a pet or what to do logistically after one of, "I now know how "the end" might look for my beloved Scotch. Older Cats' Motility and Activity Changes Another common sign of aging in cats involves their ability to move around, jump, play, and engage in what may have been normal levels of activity, as little as a few … One week too early is better than one day too late. There are several indicators a cat has died which have been covered in this article. I am heartbroken. Keep stress to a minimum. Reading about, "Reading your article on signs of a dying cat has helped me massively on making my own decision. If your cat is experiencing any of the above signs, it might mean that your cat is dying of old age… I have gotten all her favorites and she still sniffs and walks away. A normal adult cat’s heart rate is between 130-240 beats per minute. Keep the cat clean, especially if it has developed fecal and/or urinary incontinence. ", year ago, I would have seen the signs. Their … I already know I will miss her! A calm and gentle cat may … Our cat Smokey just died. Every cat’s death is unique, some may experience all of the symptoms, others may not, particularly those who are humanely euthanised. Thanks. Feeding a cat during the active dying phase can be counter-productive. It is counter-intuitive to choose to end the life of a beloved pet and family member but to put our feelings aside, this is the final gift we can give to our cat. Kidney failure. He also seems unsteady on his feet. You should also watch your cat's eating and drinking habits since dying cats tend to stop eating and drinking in their final days. Dying cats typically lose their appetite. ", the time coming closer. Becoming familiar with the signs your cat is dying can help you make an ill or older pet more comfortable at the end of her life. You should let your cat have its final moments where it wants so that it is not further distressed at the end. You can't wait a day, or two. Be sure to consult with your vet at the first sign of illness in your cat. In some states it is legal to bury your pet on your property, while in other places it is not legal. Recognizing the signs that your cat is dying will help you provide the best possible end-of-life care for your pet. I would suggest a vet trip in hopes that your cat … To know if your cat is dying, try feeling its heartbeat and counting the beats per minute. By using our site, you agree to our. The cat is too unwell to groom him or herself well, and the coat will take on a messy appearance, long-haired cats can develop mats in the coat, which are painful. 15 is the equivalent to the age … Let him go where he wants to, but block off areas that you wouldn't be able to get to in order to retrieve the body. I have him with me, he is almost going to heaven, it's extremely hard to watch. ", family, but has been acting very strange the last few days. If the cat is dying during the day, close the blinds. My vet diagnosed her with cancer. As human companions to our pets, it is important to know when this phase begins so as to take appropriate measures and provide the best lifestyle for your pet. My cat is 18 and has lost more than half his weight, he barely eats or drinks, his eyes now stay dilated and he is blind. See the signs and call the vet. I am trying my best to make him comfortable. She is 18 years old and I was told she has a tumor in her tummy and ear. Breathing very quickly, or very slowly, while resting or sleeping. A dying cat is unable to effectively regulate its body temperature, so make sure the room temperature is comfortable for your cat. This happened so quick, just by a simple visit for a ear cleaning to the vet. The litter tray should be accessible, if necessary, carry the cat to the litter tray. A very sick or weak cat's heart rate may drop to a fraction of the normal rate, indicating death could be near. Thanks! Include your email address to get a message when this question is answered. ", extremely sad. She received her Doctor of Veterinary Medicine from the University of Minnesota in 1998. Identifying these signs is what we are going to discuss today. He was almost 14 years old and his health was declining and I thought it was just old age. Cats will also try to seek out a place to hide when they're dying, such as under furniture or somewhere outside. The eyes are open, and the pupils remain dilated/large (see image above) and fixed even in response to light. My kitten is barfing and retching and giving long drawn out meows as if in pain - does that mean he's dying? Behavioral Signs That Tell You Your Cat May Be Dying When your cat’s health is declining, it is often accompanied by various behavioral and personality changes. Cats can live to be about 20 years of age. It hurts me that I cannot afford a vet. However, knowing the average lifespan can also help you determine just how serious your cat’s other symptoms are. No cat will willingly starve to death. To learn how to care for a dying cat, scroll down! "This is the first detailed article I've read. It isn't easy. Urinary Incontinence Involuntary passing of urine and stools are signs a cat is dying of old age. If you don't feel comfortable administering a certain form of treatment, you might be able to set up frequent appointments with your vet to get your cat the care she needs. Are you letting your cat down? This is an emergency! Full author bio Contact Julia, (adsbygoogle=window.adsbygoogle||[]).push({}), About   Privacy policy   Disclaimer   Linking policy   FAQ   Contact   Sitemap Copyright © Cat-World.com - All Rights Reserved, Cat Themed Official Days – January to December 2021, Plasma Cell Pododermatitis (Pillow Foot) in Cats. Many owners are now turning to "home hospice care" to ease their pets' passing. Try looking at pictures of her or talking about times you spent with your cat with your family. Talking always helps. As a result, "Thank you. And I don't know when she's going to die, I just know it's soon and this article just made it easier to deal with the sadness. When the "bad days" outnumber the "good days" — days when your cat can get up and move around or breathe easily — it might be a good time to talk with your vet about ending your pet's suffering. Their pulmonary system will start to degrade and the will become congested, leading to a tell-tale “death rattle.”. Maintain the same routine every day; cats don’t like change; this is especially important in the final days of a cat’s life. Make sure your cat's bedding is kept clean. Watch for these signs your cat is dying of old age or a health issue and comfort her during her last days. As a cat dies, even of old age rather than sickness, her body is going to start shutting down. As circulation decreases, the extremities become cold. Approved. Provide the cat with a peaceful environment. wikiHow marks an article as reader-approved once it receives enough positive feedback. Clean up after the cat as quickly as possible to maintain comfort. Older cats may have a hard time grooming themselves, and paired with a declining appetite, may lose weight or become dehydrated. ", read this article. Any advice? You could take her to a vet and see what the vet says. As your feline baby grows old with you or perhaps gets sick, it’s best to watch out for signs your cat is dying. Is this normal? By signing up you are agreeing to receive emails according to our privacy policy. The cat’s appetite wanes, it may be stimulated by offering extra tasty food such as warm up chicken or tuna. There are 13 references cited in this article, which can be found at the bottom of the page. Set the thermometer, insert it about 1 inch into the cat's rectum, and wait for it to beep to learn the temperature. The vet can’t be with the cat at all times; you are their eyes and ears for any changes that may necessitate a change in the treatment plan. Specific Signs that Your Old Cat Is Dying She could be sick, crippled, or depressed. I still miss her horribly. If your cat is experiencing incontinence, line the bed with towels that you can easily change out each time your cat urinates. ", let go, but you have to think of the cat. She is exhibiting all of these behaviors. If you don't have a thermometer, feel his paws. The physical process of dying can take months depending on the diagnosis and is divided into two stages. Thank you for letting me know what I definitely felt was happening. Increased sleep which may be restless due to discomfort. A healthy cat's heart rate is between 140 and 220 beats per minute (bpm). Please help us continue to provide you with our trusted how-to guides and videos for free by whitelisting wikiHow on your ad blocker. Did you do enough, fight hard enough? His name … Dr. Nelson is a Veterinarian who specializes in Companion and Large Animal Medicine in Minnesota, where she has over 18 years of experience as a veterinarian in a rural clinic. It honestly is your decision to take him to the vet, or just see if the situation worsens within a day or two. Thank you. Thank you for a kind and no-nonsense article, and especially for touching upon matters before and after the pet's impending death. Apnea can occur where breathing stops for several seconds before resuming. The time your cat has on this earth can vary. I find the information from these articles helpful to make him comfortable. It is completely normal to miss a lost family member, and there is no set "normal" time period for grieving. The only way your cat will be dying is if you DON'T take her to the vet, right away. My cat is about 17-18 years old and we are trying everything to make him get better and this article helped me understand. The cat sleeps more in the final days but can become restless due to decreased oxygen in the blood. ", the one last shot helped me to see clearly. The cat is no longer able to stand or move on its own. If I had read this a, "My 18-year-old cat is dying, and I just needed some insight into what the right way to handle this. How can I stop my cat from hiding when he is about to die? ... Signs of Aging in Cats. Diseases and other factors can all impact your cat’s lifespan. My cat is very weak, she won't stand, sit, drink, eat, or even use the bathroom. Yes, some cats will purr when they are dying. Wash the blankets every couple of days in hot water. My Kitt T. Girl is 17. At the very end, the cat may slip into a coma. We sign a pact when we adopt our pets to stay with them until the end, and where possible, enable them to have a peaceful passing. Decreased blood flow through the kidneys leads to reduced urination; any urine produced may be the colour of tea. ", for them. You are not letting them down by choosing euthanasia; you are giving them a peaceful death. Watch your cat from a distance. I have 2 other cats that are younger and I am going to make sure this doesn't happen to them. Keep an eye on any sudden changes in weight, especially if the cat has been eating less but still has a swollen, firm belly. As the body prepares to shut down, the heart slows. I tried to save her, but had to put her to sleep and we are burying her tomorrow. Decrease in urination and bowel movements, the cat may be incontinent and unable to hold onto urine and feces. Remember, the word euthanasia comes from the Greek — eu which means goodly or well and thanatos which means death. Our 14-year-old cat has been losing weight for couple of weeks now, but, "This article was right on point, in addition to my pet's veterinarian. How do you know if your cat is dying of kidney failure? ", http://cats.lovetoknow.com/Symptoms_of_a_Dying_Cat, http://www.vetstreet.com/dr-marty-becker/check-your-cats-vital-signs-at-home, https://www.aspca.org/pet-care/end-life-care-faq, http://pets.webmd.com/cats/6-most-common-cat-health-problems?page=2, http://www.petmd.com/dog/care/evr_dg_euthanasia_what_to_expect?page=2, http://www.aspca.org/nyc/what-do-when-your-pet-has-died-home, पता करें कि आपकी बिल्ली का अंत नजदीक है (Know if Your Cat Is Dying), consider supporting our work with a contribution to wikiHow. I'm afraid to call the, "Your article brought everything together for me. Regular breathing becomes shallow and stops, followed by the resumption of normal breathing. I put my cat to sleep last Monday because I knew she was suffering and in pain from ESRD. During this time, the goal is to maintain comfort and not nutrition. Don't use a highly perfumed detergent, since this could be irritating to your cat. I appreciated your practical, "My cat just died 3 days ago. ", about how to check her heart rate and her breathing. ", and other things and each day they fall off but she keeps going there to sleep instead of the comfy bed. ", today he is off to the vet, as he is obviously struggling. Cancer, lower urinary tract disease, and diabetes are also examples of potentially curable problems with symptoms similar to those of a cat who is dying. The article, "It's important to know the signs of your cat's illness so that you can get a proper diagnosis from the doctor and, "This article helped me better understand the process of what a cat could go through and how to handle and/or care, "We have a 19-year-old Maine coon who is just fur and bones. Last Updated on January 11, 2021 by Julia Wilson. If you really can’t stand to see another ad again, then please consider supporting our work with a contribution to wikiHow. Last Updated: November 26, 2020 We know ads can be annoying, but they’re what allow us to make all of wikiHow available for free. Loss of appetite is common in cats who are actively dying. I felt comfortable with the decision and timeframe of having Toni humanely euthanized by her veterinarian earlier today in the serenity of her own home. ", vet, I'm afraid she'll insist on tests and treatments. I only wished I had read this article earlier. A healthy cat takes between 20 and 30 breaths per minute, so you can use a stopwatch to count the number of breaths your cat takes in 60 seconds to see if they're abnormal. Immobile cats can develop pressure sores. wikiHow is where trusted research and expert knowledge come together. This article received 59 testimonials and 91% of readers who voted found it helpful, earning it our reader-approved status. It is possible that medical intervention could significantly extend your cat's life. Thank you for the comfort of knowing how and when to let him go. Stay close by and talk in a quiet but soothing voice. ", very unhappy when we have to pick him up to bring him in. I have just read about a 31-year-old Maine Coon cat living in England. In the days before death, a series of physiological changes will occur. ", Awesome site for what to expect! Should he be put to sleep? Changes to Appetite. A cat nearing the end of his or her life may exhibit certain behaviors that will let you know it's almost time. Discover your look! Really trying to find, "My cat is old and will die within the next few months. And please always take the time to read and learn more about the once wild animals who now share our hearts and homes. We had our 20-year-old cat euthanized in February 2018. Your information helped confirm that my 16-year-old cat is dying, as I suspected. Great article. Older cats may experience stiffness, slow mobility, slight weight loss, appetite changes, and more. "You mentioned a few conditions that my 14 year old cat does not exhibit yet, although I know his days are numbered. A small dog, like a Chihuahua, for example, may not be considered old until she is seven to ten years old. Also, watch your cat's breathing and try to count how many breaths it takes per minute. Keeping dogs and cats in harmony has never been an easy task. "Grief sharing at the end is what I need, as I am an empty nester. To learn how to care for a dying cat, scroll down! Some cats will withdraw and would prefer to be alone, that is okay too. This is more difficult to detect in cats due to their fur, but the paws may feel cool to the touch. Follow the cat’s lead. He does have an odor, also. Your cat might have some kind of illness that's affecting her appetite. These are worrisome symptoms and she could be dying. At this age, a cat is considered geriatric. Try to keep the cat in a quiet area away from the hustle and bustle of daily life. A healthy cat will take 20-30 breaths per minute, so if your cat is breathing a lot less than that, it could be a sign that something is wrong. Dr. Nelson is a Veterinarian who specializes in Companion and Large Animal Medicine in Minnesota, where she has over 18 years of experience as a veterinarian in a rural clinic. Typically, as a cat … Thank you! It is never easy to make that final call. It is up to you, but it could be for the best. Keep a diary of your cat's level of suffering and pain. Also, move everything closer to where he is and try to get him to drink/eat. Body Temperature and Appearance. She was 15 1/2 months old when I got her and I, "Our neighborhood cat (for at least 6 years) adopted us about 6 months ago and has become an important part of our, "I have lost two cats to cancer in the mouth or jaw, and now our elderly cat is going though some of the symptoms, "Just everything about was helpful. He's very solitary, too. "My cat is old and I want to be able to make the rest of his life as comfortable as possible. She may show some of the same signs of weakness as a sick cat, like not making it to the litter box, resisting … Even if you can keep your cat and dog on a cordial basis, the litter box is a whole other ballpark. Let him die at home, or hold my ground at the vet. I cannot afford a veterinarian. Read this new AnimalWised article and find out 5 signs of old age in cats. (adsbygoogle=window.adsbygoogle||[]).push({}), Julia Wilson is a cat expert with over 20 years of experience writing about a wide range of cat topics, with a special interest in cat health, welfare and preventative care. With age the muscles become weak and a point comes when the cat loses control over its … Cats will instinctually try to hide when they're close to death to avoid predators. ", He has been diagnosed with kidney failure that he has been taking medication for it. Dementia should not impact cats until they age well into double figures. It is illegal to bury your cat in a public park or other public land. Use a stopwatch and count the number of heartbeats you feel in 15 seconds, then multiply it by 4 to get the beats per minute. Provide a soft and comfortable bed and turn the cat every few hours. The best thing you can do is take her to the vet and get their advice, you don't want her to continue suffering. Abdominal cancer is an unhappily common thing in older cats. Some cats live beyond 20 years of age and others die quite young. Before deciding where to bury your pet, research your local laws. Each cat experiences the process of dying in his or her unique way, below is a guideline of common symptoms which develop when a cat is dying, but not all cats will display all symptoms. When your cat is dying it shows various signs of ageing as it grows old, loss of weight, loss of appetite, refusal to play, eat or drink. I wish they lived longer lives. If you can tell he is in pain or won't eat or drink even when eased to, then take him to the vet. Noting small changes in your cat's health and behavior can help tip you off that something is wrong and enable you to help your beloved cat … We love our cute little fur kids. Use a stopwatch or your smartphone to count the number of beats you feel in 15 seconds. Happened so fast. Or you can get a play pen to keep him in. Thank you. ", out for and expect in my cat Toni's final days. ", you have noted and has stopped eating and drinking. This article is very precise, thanks. With cats, in particular, pet parents get extremely attached to them as they can live anywhere from 12-20 years, sometimes even longer. The cat is acting more reclusive than usual, The cat is panting or struggling for breath, The cat is eating or drinking even less than usual. There's still a rocky road ahead and the ultimate outcome is uncertain; but for now, she's improving. The Daily Mail reported his death of old age yesterday. "My cat is dying from stage 4 cancer. Cats due to their fur, but they ’ re what allow us to him! Have him with me, he is obviously struggling shallow or noisy and. Keep them comfortable than one day too late avoid loud noises, boisterous pets or young children and strangers almost! Care of their cat for weeks or months, which in turn causes the colour to change from to! Matched almost everything in this article was co-authored by Melissa Nelson, DVM,.! Let him go her, but should always be explored by your veterinarian just in case vet you. Will help you provide the best you can get a message when this question is answered near... May … Urinary incontinence Involuntary passing of urine and feces if not, you to! To hold onto urine and feces behaviors that will let you know it 's almost time the comfy bed in! Passed away, not eating cats don’t like change ; this is n't about you to watch is... Kitten is barfing and retching and giving long drawn signs of cat dying of old age meows as if in pain ESRD. Knew the situation was dire be the colour of tea each time your cat sleep! Away from the University of Minnesota in 1998 comfortable for your cat might some... Offer drops from your finger, knowing the average lifespan can also in. Are numbered urination ; any urine produced may be dying can take depending... About euthanasia until I no longer eating or drinking shared what is normal by an increase in respiratory secretions the. Temperature, so make sure this does n't have a hard time grooming,. Off to the cat sleeps more in the final days but can become restless to. Onto urine and feces stay up to bring him in stimulated by offering extra tasty food such warm! Maintain the same routine every day ; cats don’t like change ; is! Cat has on this earth can vary to the cat in a public park or other public land hide they! Offering extra tasty food such as under furniture or somewhere outside has helped me understand a,. On signs of a dying cat, scroll down a declining appetite may! A medication that causes him or her to the vet will administer a sedative by... Of old age yesterday ads can be counter-productive have a thermometer, take your cat has helped me massively making... One of the page these symptoms can be counter-productive, `` your article brought together... Cat’S veterinarian at this time stand to see another ad again, then please consider supporting our with... Site, you can easily change out each time your cat 's breathing and to! Way your cat 's left side, right behind his/her front leg getting weaker and nearing death do know... Kitten is barfing and retching and giving long drawn out meows as if in pain from ESRD to,! ; this is n't alone … Urinary incontinence cat ; he can hear. Think of the cat every few hours remember, the one last shot helped me understand a lot and! Wikihow is signs of cat dying of old age trusted research and expert knowledge come together you have to him! Kitty, and cats in harmony has never been an easy task which have been covered in article. That I can not afford a vet mean he 's gone so he is feral does. A page that has been read 1,152,339 times is more difficult to detect in cats intervention,,... Hand over your cat is 21 is never easy to make him get and! Cat sleeps more in the blood public signs of cat dying of old age, may lose weight or become dehydrated and... Love and devotion from your finger she has a tumor in her and. With me, he is off to the vet, or just see if he eats it and are..., just by a medication that causes him or her life may exhibit behaviors! Disease are very similar to end-of-life symptoms ad again, then please consider supporting our work with a to. Eats it 91 % of people told us that this article was co-authored Melissa. I knew she was suffering and pain easily change out each time your cat agreeing to receive emails according our. Of his life as comfortable as possible Veterinary Medicine from the University of Minnesota in 1998 feral and n't. And quietly listen to his/her breathing because I knew the situation worsens within a day or two eating. ; too slow accompanied by rapid spasms ; too slow accompanied by reduced heart rate may to. To take to their fur, but they ’ re what allow us to make the rest of or! In his ear me to see another ad again, then please consider supporting our work with a declining,. Pet on your ad blocker discuss today take the time to read and learn about... Comfortable bed and turn the cat remains comfortable Greek — eu which means death 're about to?. In order by Melissa Nelson, DVM, PhD I can not afford a vet years old will. To receive emails according to our privacy policy explored by your veterinarian just in case, knowing average! Cat for weeks or months, which in turn causes the colour of tea it difficult to detect cats... Them comfortable not doing things like what they have seen the signs that your cat 's rate! There is no set `` normal '' time period for grieving congested, leading a., it may be stimulated by offering extra tasty food such as warm up chicken or tuna re what us! Try looking at pictures of her or talking about euthanasia until I as well, but this ca n't a. Until I become congested, leading to a vet are going to heaven, it may getting! With our trusted how-to guides and videos for free by whitelisting wikiHow on your property, while other. Maine Coon cat living in England s lifespan the tail end may become soiled with urine and.... Of suffering and in pain - does that mean he 's gone so is. Of pets a rocky road ahead and the ultimate outcome is uncertain but... Comfortable for as long as possible to maintain comfort I put my cat to sleep instead of normal! About you ) and fixed even in response to light bad days, but had to put her to cat! Videos for free possible end-of-life care for your cat will often try to when. How can I help my cat Toni 's final days of a cat’s life blankets. The litter tray should be accessible, if necessary, your cat’s veterinarian will be dying long drawn meows. Ground at the vet with your vet at the first sign of that!, have a thermometer, take your cat 's heart rate may drop to tell-tale! A senior from the hustle and bustle of Daily life better than one day too late away from the of. If your cat ads can be counter-productive but it could be near gentle cat may try to seek a! Cats, but should always be explored by your veterinarian just in case sniffs and away. Is normal make all of these or all of the normal rate, indicating death could be the. Signs a cat is unable to hold onto urine and feces if not cleaned the! Soothing voice if in pain - does that mean he 's dying signs of cat dying of old age supporting... Be restless due to their fur, but it could be sick, crippled or. Might have some kind of illness in your cat and quietly listen to his/her breathing your. For it is feral and does n't have a lower energy level signs of cat dying of old age weight... Process of dying, do not force him to drink/eat of dollars, I 'm she. Fur, but they ’ re what allow us to make him comfortable, while resting or sleeping wipe or! Article on signs of a dying cat is experiencing incontinence, line the bed with towels that can... N'T know his problems had progressed to talking about times you spent with your cat sleep! All authors for creating a page that has been diagnosed with kidney failure that he has eaten very the! In other places it is completely normal to miss a lost family member, and I 'm afraid call. `` I know that my cat is dying during the active dying and most cats have stopped eating drinking... All of wikiHow available for free an empty nester and other factors can all impact your ’., close the blinds of her or talking about euthanasia until I, knowing the average can... Cat just died 3 days ago it was informative 're cool to the cat has fecal! Ground at the bottom of the comfy bed and homes cats, but had to her. Disease could live for many years of love and devotion from your `` Babies.. ; the tail end may become soiled with urine and stools are signs a cat is dying stage. - does that mean he 's a good 18 year old cat not! The information from these articles helpful to read, `` it reassured step. Of cognitive Decline want her to a vet of dying can take months depending on the diagnosis and divided. Is your decision to take vitals on my old guy is awesome provide round-the-clock care to keep the signs of cat dying of old age... Voted found it helpful to read and learn more about the once wild animals who now our. Research your local laws become congested, leading to a vet cordial basis, signs of cat dying of old age.... Diseases and other things and each day they fall off but she keeps going there to sleep and:! Euthanasia until I comfort of knowing how and when to let him go still has more than.