This method only works The things you seem to believe and the things youre worried about come from a place of toxicity! I know it would be for me. Is it the number of acts, the number of partners, or the types of acts? An alpha may sleep with someone that sleeps around but we don't want to marry that. So what. No matter where you go and no matter how much you pray to the Lord for time to pass and grant you maturation. B) Twenty sex partners, had sex a total of 100 times. Is it because you, yourself, in your heart of hearts, have a problem with someone having a lot of sex? Yes the chances that they wont see eye to eye may increase based on her sexual past, but it will not always be the case. We will not live forever and we are of the flesh. It assumes that all women have slept with more partners than I would find comfortable (far from correct), and that the only way I could end up happy and not lonely is to settle down and marry someone. I myself agree with not judging a future mate depending solely on the number of past partners. Sex often results in emotional attachment for a woman. We all have pasts things we aren't proud of who she was isn't who she is. And I suppose that a man or woman states it was only sex can be trusted not to sleep around since its only sex and not all men are like that its just an excuse to get laid. I agree. Am I saying that women that have what would be considered a large number of partners should be shunned? Heck, Ive even dated a slut, for a year! To bring YOU back to reality, every PERSON has both sides of the coin, not just men. What happens to the guy that took a chance on her got his emotions wrapped up in her only to have them stomped on? I dont know why I feel hurtas i said, I believe people have the right to do what they want. Compare apples to apples, Crazy Obsessed Man. more imperative because, if given a choice, men will choose the more virtuous I found out she was very open about hooking up and put herself on "hook-up" websites where she could trade nude pictures with random men who just were looking for flings. It refers to a woman . I dont play the who slept with who game. I completely understand where you are coming from Kabdog but I have to respectfully disagree. She has the same thing her husband has to give to her. People are different, and want different things at different times in their lives. I respect everything you just said. I continued to live. I was always very in tuned with myself, much more than any other woman I knew. By digging into bad ideologies, you're picking up the emotional baggage of other people and assuming it's your own. Here is my conclusion i guess. It's more likely that my comments are going to garner negativity but I think it's good to have a healthy view on such things. I understand your position, but I do not agree that it is the best approach. I mean really whos want to marry a woman that a lot of guys have allready seen whats meant to be special between you too..really? But the average man, when hes serious about a woman, does care. Dude, consider this: she's got the experience to know what she wants and what she doesn't want. over 100 is just obvious, whether you see yourself as having a modern approach I am coming from a place that is old-minded and is small island, so something like dis should spoil your name and make u feel embarassed even if for you wasnt that big deal.. On d other hand tho you cant judge a woman by that, but society does, no matter what so its better to think wisely before you do. womens promiscuity does not fit nicely into the fabricated utopia we can be decreased. Be happy you have a girl. respect and honor themselves. My body doesn't want anyone else when I love someone. If you are caught lying it can Encourage people to better themselves? are is the number that would still be acceptable to most. What did that really change? She is everything you would want a woman to be, and you feel an awesome connection with her. it just kills me that women be the main one judging other women. Wow, so many issues with your post. Would you still judge her as nothing more than a whore or was she simply a victim of a horrible act and didnt know or wasnt able to get the help to properly handle it. I guess it depends how you define tha. before getting to know me, my first thought would be Wow! Having sex with your man . amenities; whether it was in the far past or recent past. You are not sexually compatible) Everyone has the right to judge and they WILL until the end of time as we know it and there is not damn thing wrong with it!!! Bianca, why in the world would you think the number of men you have slept with should not matter? In todays age just go to pub or bar and buy the drinks for the women and they can have sex with any unknown person ( what does that mean Slut right). insert kylo ren meme here. about their past. There is not much left. Wesley Pipes, calls out Kobe' lol you really took it there. Its about respect. In the words of Dr Dre. We know that today we are faithful and happy. I just responded to your other comment so I will keep this response short. But what about men? Just go. Do not lie, but do not get detailed. So, I really dont care how many women (yes I am a chick) my man has or has not slept with, my only rule is that whilst we are together, I am the only woman he sleeps with. Not saying that is ok and right, just pointing that out. Exactly, the past should only be used as a way to better understand who that person has been and who they have become. Also, having a high number of partners can cause him to have negative opinions of her. So basically after that she ended up just sleeping with a lot of foreign guys. Im a guy who never really had any girlfriends, I turned down or was just completely blind to all advances to me and missed all opportunities, I never really cared (or told myself I didnt, but probably I did), I would be a virgin if it wasnt for the few random prostitutes I slept with yeh, something Im not happy about but I only did it cause I was lonely and never believed in myself, I had my heart broken a few times (yeh wahh wahh, I was young and a sensitive human being), I had chronic anxiety and the thought of even going on a date made me want to vomit so I never met anyone or just avoided it I was 28 before I finally met someone who actually loves me, I was blown away. This post also feels like a way to almost look for what I want to hear i.e. Sleeping around might be related to testosterone in both sexes. that will always be what it is and now you know it is most likely to be a Nothing has ever been more important than that. I went through years thinking that sex was it and when I was in a relationship I was faithful and from what Ive heard one of the best girlfriends theyve had. I agree to disagree on your comment. In not an incel, I just don't think hook-up culture will help me become the best version of myself. You never know. I do believe there are some women that simply enjoy sex, but I would by lying if I said i felt that the majority of women who are promiscuous are doing it simply because they love it. Society many times likes to just default to the answer on the surface, rather than go deeper to fully understand what truly is causing a problem or disconnect. In my line of work I have seen that more times than not there is something deeper going on that has led to that woman taking that route. But then I brought the conversation back to the fast girls. Recognize and appreciate how they have changed and evolved throughout the years, what they have done to improve themselves, and what goals they have in the future. What I want to encourage you to do is to understand what is done is done. This is why the feminist message that women should go and lots of sex (presumably to be more like men) is so damaging. Yoomy situation is differentthis girl actually wants me to wants on her till shes done having fun (sleeping around) too settle down with me..i thing thats disgustingand its not worth it. Also there may have been something lacking that led her back into her promiscuous ways, and a lot of women are not always forthcoming with there men about what is lacking and can be improved upon. Macho-ism still exists. Feelings of disappointment and hurt will harm your marriage later if you don't work through them now. Who she once was is not always who she is now. Much like you are forcing the woman in your life to do, would you rather start out a relationship based on a lie? You are also correct about women who men know have gotten around will have a much harder time finding a man, which is why most women lie and will take some of these secrets to their grave. Now if you ask her and she lies about the number, then your point is much more valid in my opinion. If you did respect her, you wouldn't really be having this conversation, would you? Okay so thats what Ive got for you. Or cheated or whatever. More and more women than ever before are Sleeping around. Press J to jump to the feed. However, promiscuity is not gender based. have and wield. is out of sync with reality(and they are becoming increasingly aware I understand your position but I think you are not properly receiving the message of this article. First, I asked her what she thought. Dont judge. If a woman only shares her body with those she loves then it means more to be with her. That she should Phsyically, Id agree. Also, I do not believe in the double standard! Why is that so conveniently forgotten? Life is short. That will not change because of Americas pseudo progressive culture. Many times the stroll occurs in high school or college, but it varies for different women. And, what does your sex life say about your character? Or would you rather have a car thats bee driven by a lot of different people. Additionally, male and female sexuality is just different. Nobody likes for the woman they love to be viewed in that light. Just doesnt have the same ring to it. on how people should behave with their bodies. There is a double standard and its not going away any time soon. FloralHybrid. I dont ever wonder what I missed out on, I know the answer is not much! I started at 18, averaged 2.78 a year. Not to mention her self-esteem would of been shattered. As long as you're both safe and clean, what's the harm? Okay okay, maybe that is a bit extreme. Still, I've never cheated on anyone, not out of restraint, but out of genuine sexual loyalty. She is 30. While media still shames yet sells women. Thats it! Nothing wrong with that. I can tell how angry I made you, and your calling of names is cute, but unnecessary. He thinks I was listening the whole time." Erin. Even though men have the choice too without fame a lot of money a social status its a losing battle. So this woman never lied about anything. The Student Room and The Uni Guide are both part of The Student Room Group. She loves you, and regardless of how anybody else wants to view her, it only matters how you view her. Life is all about letting go. great number of men for the same reason. There is a reason the vast majority of men do not want to marry a slut. idc if im broke or rich or how your feel in a bed room or how i look its my intellect that should make u be willing to be with me or my compassion or my intentive attitude towards you when a women has a mutiple relations with different men she has a lot of comparision to the man she is involved with and then women wonder why the are single mothers? Well said. I have a past love interest who you can say is the one I regret letting go in my life the most. So it can get tricky in that regard. How can we embrace each other if we continue to hold over a persons head what they once did, and even allow it to overshadow what they do now. It was the fact that she had not worked through her issues and resolved the things that contributed to her taking this route. Its more than you have. your such a b.s artist because you know in todays society get to much lead way with that b.s. Women are yet to be seen as equals. Are you worried that you're bad at sex and she'll know because she's had more experience? Seems like one has more to offer the world (in numbers or human lives) than the other. You wouldnt be, so I dont think it is as widely accepted as you claim. Pregnancy. Yes he was obviously more attractive than you, 'Just have girls asking you for 3somes, why isn't every guy doing this? The more we avoid words that make some people feel attacked (though I myself have been guilty of it), the better we can move the discussion in the right direction. The only difference will be in how you now choose to perceive her and how you handle that perceptionThis article isnt trying to say it is right or wrong, good or bad, or whatever when it comes to promiscuity. She has actually opened a dialogue with me about the fast girls. I am giving my perspective on why they should not judge the woman solely on her past. and who or what is the judge of what bettering yourself even is? Ask her about her thoughts on it and her expectations now and in the future. I agree that you should not settle, and that finding someone you connect with and are compatible with is obtainable (as well as one of the keys to a great relationship). Stephen are u being real? I just dont think using her past to override who she is today is the best approach. How detailed you can get depends on how much your lover can take. That to me just doesnt seem like it is the best way to go about things, but that is my opinion and I will respect yours. This is how I feel. Women want a guy who wants a woman to love and respect herself to value a This is why a woman can get almost any guy to have sex with her but men have to work at getting a woman to agree to have sex him. Respect the choices shes made with her own body, respect the decisions that led her to where she is now. Theres timing to all things, even discussion about lovers. Dont be fooled by the celebrity divorces which seem quick and fast. Im logical, confident, and independent. If alpha men dont want to get married, they certainly dont have to, as some believe it is an outdated institution, and with the number of slutty women running rampant these days, choose to take advantage of these short-term prospects. I'd like to believe the girls I'm seeking hold value to themselves and know what they are worth, unlike my current girlfirend sadly. He is happy, so should the number hold that much power and the relationship end? God created us all to make mistakes and learn from those mistakes to become better people. However, all else being equal, women with more sexual partners are more likely to undergo a failed marriage. Seemed to be more interesting than knowing the troubled young girls/teenager/woman. Hint: your feelings about her past experiences aren't about her, but about you and what you imagine you see. In addition, these so called beta men you speak of are men who actually are much more prone to have a family, take an active part in their childrens lives, and love their wives. interact. We have had this conversation. And people who are so quick to judge others usually have some self-esteem issues. If the issue of bumping into them is that serious, I would rather move then to give up on her. 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