For her 40th birthday, my wife said, "Id love to be ten again." The vet gave him some pills, and the bull serviced all of my cows! he told his pal. Pastry chefs know that old age crepes up on you. But, on the other hand, there are pains and aches from having slept in an awkward position, theres the handful of vitamins to be swallowed each morning, and theres the graying hair and sagging skin. Congrats on proving that getting older doesnt mean getting wiser. "That dance was so important to you? I started to describe him: He has gray hair, wears glasses, has a potbelly And why dont you write that down so you wont forget? Nonsense, said the husband, I can remember a dish of ice cream!, Well, said the wife, Id also like some strawberries on it. "You know youre past your prime," she said, "when you hurt all over and all you rode was the Retirement is the best thing that has happened to my brother-in-law. This farmers wife prayed to the Lord and asked him, How old will I be when I die? His reply was 96 years old. Yes, she admitted. Why is that?" As an Amazon Associate I earn from qualifying purchases. I was like 30!, Bored Panda works better on our iPhone app. This happened for several weeks in a row. Scene: With a patient in my medical exam room 10. I was told that there were three signs that you are getting older. (@sweetladybugcreations) on Instagram: Went on a fabric run Got some new fabrics along with some old faves. For the first wish, the old lady asked to become young and beautiful. He goes upstairs, takes out a recorder, turns it on and, knowing she is in the kitchen, yells downstairs, Honey, whats for supper? No answer. Ask her anything! "It's my passport picture," she revealed."Really?" Even at age 88, my mother was vain about her looks. As I was taking out my ID, my Blockbuster card fell out. There was a farmer who owned a small ranch with some livestock and two horses, Razzle and Dazzle. I like to say "balding" because it sounds more productive. "My husband, a big-time sports fan, was watching a football game with our grandchildren. I can remember that!. An older couple is spending time up in the bedroom before turning in for the night. The old man slyly looked at him and said, Well last week I sat out here with no shirt on, and I got a stiff neck. "When a woman called 911 complaining of difficulty breathing, my husband, Glenn, and his partnerboth EMTsrushed to her home. ", "She's only in her 40s, but my friend Mary has bounced back from cancer, heart problems, even a stroke. She told her kids that she was spending her money on herself. Young Lad: Wow, its a special day for you. Three old ladies are sitting in a diner, chatting about various things. "Scene: with a patient in my medical exam room Me: How old are your kids? Im a recycled teenager. Patient: Forty-four and 39 from my wife who passed away, and from my second wife, 15 and 13. 2023 Box of Puns. His reply: "We'll I just didn't recognize you!". I found a fallen tree, so I laid my gun down, propped my head on the tree, and fell asleep. Your age because it goes up but never comes back down. My superpower? "Works every time.". The tenant shook her head. Well, I remember back in 1944, we went on a lion hunting exposition in Africa. I jumped, bent, and twisted for an hour. Sometime later, when the examination was over, he was helped out of the machine by a far older woman. "Wasn't exactly lost," he admitted. So, you know, it might be something actually to look forward to. But everything else starts to wear out, fall out, or spread out. For some reason, she woke up bald and with a bad attitude. Me: Thats quite the age difference! As you get older, dont bother eating healthy food; go for packaged junk. My grandfather was sipping a beer when he confessed to me hed drunk more than usual the day before. They just drive by and shoot people. Come now, my memorys not all that bad, said the husband. WebWhen I went to lunch today, I noticed an old man sitting on a park bench sobbing his eyes out. Bob suggests they go in. Through it all, she and her husband, Mark, have kept their sense of humor. The old lady and the fairy said their goodbyes. One lady says, You know, Im getting really forgetful. I was having lunch with my daughter Rachel, whos three, at our local mall and was feeling particularly macho for a 46-year-old. When a soldier came to the clinic where I work for an MRI, he was put into the machine by an attractive, young technician. A dish of ice cream and some strawberries. They just drive by and shoot people. 11. I make more then $12,000 a month online. Grandma says, "Youre welcome. They were afraid that this could be Thank you! A few minutes after it started, Fred heard Sam rustling around and he seemed to be searching on the floor under his seat. "I never know what day of the week it is," he gloated. "He looked at the picture, crumpled it up, straightened it out and studied it again. An old couple was sitting in Church and the wife noticed that people were staring at her. "The tip's for carding me," he said. Youre old that the Dead Sea was only sick when you were born. The average age of people living in our military retirement community is 85. With a startled look on her face, she asks, Whos there?, Related: The Funniest Walks into a Bar Jokes. White or transparent. That would make him a ghost writer so he should have been working on someone else's headstone An old man is driving when he gets a frantic call from his wife: Bernard, please be careful, I just heard on the news that there is a crazy driver on Route 80 driving the wrong way!Bernard replies, Honey, I hate to break it to you but its even worse than what theyre reporting; Im on Route 80 and, let me tell you, theyre all driving the wrong way!, And now the crazy driver is also on the phone, "Just as she was celebrating her 80th birthday, our friend received a jury-duty notice. After booking my 90-year-old mother on a flight from Florida to Nevada, I called the airline to go over her needs. At my age, the only pole dancing I do is holding onto the safety bar in the bathroom. His reply was 96 years old. Grandpa, what are you doing? he exclaimed. 6. He sat riveted as she carefully took them out, brushed and rinsed them, and then popped them back in. In January, my wife, a physician, met with an elderly patient. Bob suggests they go in. What are you doing working so late? Oh, those idiots, grumbles the old man. I asked. "Oh," she said, walking away. Our favorite museum in town displays quilts from around the country. "Yeah An elderly man visits the doctor for a checkup. Andrea Price. What defies the law of gravity? Glenn placed a sensor on her finger to measure her pulse and blood oxygen. Tim struck up a conversation with the only other person in the pool, a five-year-old boy. "Well, do you drive 10,000 miles a year?" "You mean I have to look at this for the next four years?" Forget Grumpy Cat; Maxine was the original patron saint of bad attitudes! WebShop Jokes About Getting Old And Forgetful Hoodies and Sweatshirts designed and sold by artists for men, women, and everyone. She walked out of the doctor's office, started across the street, and was hit and killed. He is our oldest member and can tell you some hunting stories youll never forget. They awakened the old man and asked him to tell them a hunting story. It would blow their minds! Congratulations on being able to cough, fart, sneeze, and pee at the same time. So he invited the old man inside for a drink. So he invited the old man inside for a drink. My parents didn't want to move to Florida, but they turned 60 and that's the law. You have to be in Kahoots with someone. Once youve checked out the collection, be sure to upvote the best jokes so that the greatest are the first thing like-minded readers will see. Please check link and try again. Poor old fool, thought the well-dressed gentleman as he watched an old man fish in a puddle outside a pub. There's a bowl of peanuts on the coffee table, and John and his friends start snacking on them. Laughter is truly the best medicine. WebA diplomat is a man who always remembers a woman's birthday but never remembers her age. Too Many Figurines A young girl watched her grandmother move several duck figurines from the bottom shelf to the middle shelf of a cabinet. Thank you!Rose? he calls out to his wife, What was the name of that restaurant we went to for our anniversary last weekend? Well, yes, she said reluctantly. In January, my wife, a physician, met with an elderly patient. Bob Hope, A woman on the phone to her friend: I feel like my body has gotten totally out of shape, so I got my doctors permission to join a fitness club and start exercising. "Im 81 years old," he answered. "I had been thinking about coloring my hair. This thing is great, he bragged to my brother. Aivaras is a student trying to pave the way to his career in Marketing and advertisment creation. ", He could call her by any other name and she would still smell as sweet, "My husband was bending over to tie my three-year-old's shoes. When I was 70, I forgot about it. When the new activities director for the rec center walked in, all us retirees quickly took notice. In her free time she loves painting, embroidering and taking walks in nature. Im not old. His thoughtful reply: When I wasnt good, and I wasnt old. F. Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. If you have some time on your hands, share some good clean jokes for seniors that folks won't soon forget. Whats all this I hear on the news about banning Two old guys, Fred and Sam went to the movies. While out for a stroll to discuss the wedding they pass a drugstore. What, what did he say? said the little old lady. Hes a fun guy. Little by little, pinch-by-pinch, she fed each pigeon with joy. The fairy turned the cat into the most handsome man on earth. "Howd you do it?" "For her 40th birthday, my wife said, "I'd love to be ten again." "So was Santa good to you?" Fight boredom with iPhones and iPads here. I asked. Then he remembered what Id said and confidently called out, Acura! Linda Price. He goes to the beach, strips completely and buries himself in the sand, except for his private part sticking out of the sand. Take life lightly and laugh. At this age, the only joint youre rolling is your ankle. He decides to prove to her theres something wrong with her hearing. At the Nursing Home a man took his elderly father to a nursing home to check it out. You told me that I would live to be 96." He fit all of the stereotypes of an Irishman, having red hair and beard, constantly being at the bar, and having an accent so thick that I could barely understand him even though I knew him. There's a bowl of peanuts on the coffee table, and John and his friends start snacking on them. You know you are old when youre told to slow down by your doctor and not the police. For years he had that thing, shined like a diamond. 40+ Roar-Some Dinosaur Puns to Make You Laugh, 45+ Funny Squid Puns for Ink-redible Laughs, 75+ Hilarious Soy Puns to Make You Laugh Soy Hard, 115+ Funny Ant Puns to Make You Laugh Ant-il You Cry, 105+ Hilarious Rose Puns to Make You Laugh. After three failed attempts to log on, he asked, Am I spelling this right? There are three signs of old age. "Cool, Grandma!" I dont know, he said. By the time a man is wise enough to watch his step, hes too old to go anywhere. Get the latest inspiring stories via our awesome iOS app! For some reason, she woke up bald and with a bad attitude. So he goes to the doctor himself to ask if anything can be done about it. While out for a stroll to discuss the wedding they pass a drugstore. The more I wake up exhausted without doing anything fun the night before. They even have their own vocabulary: BFF: Best Friend Fainted BYOT: Bring Your Own Teeth CBM: Covered by Medicare FWB: Friend with Just as she was celebrating her 80th birthday, our friend received a jury-duty notice. Old Man: Thank you, and I just got married (and he is still crying.). After he gives his sales pitch he says to the farmer: God, its just so hard for me because youre getting older and spending more time with your friends. My sister and I decided to reframe a favorite photograph of our mother and father from when they were dating, some 60 years ago. "They'll only look once.". Glass?". Yeah, sure, you get somewhat wiser, more composed, and even might have an idea what to do with your life. Every few minutes, she lets out with a little- "Ooooh!" She was 20-something, statuesque, and gorgeous. "What are you doing?" And now that Im 80, the damn things are growing wild! It quickly grew heated as one of them declared, "I'm so mad, I'm taking you off my pallbearer list!". While waiting for the farmer to answer he notices the horses racing around their pen. After removing the picture from the frame, I turned it over, hoping to find a date. We're asking people to rethink comments that seem similar to others that have been reported or downvoted, By using our services you agree to our use of cookies to improve your visit. "No, it's Thursday", said the second. The thing that relaxes her the best is going into YouTube rabbit hole. Recently, a neighbor turned 100, and a big birthday party was thrown. Its taped under the modem, I told him. Please, Seora, the poor man pleads, I havent eaten all day. Good, says the grandmother. ", An elderly couple is invited to eat dinner at another couple's home.After dinner, the two women go into the kitchen and the two men remain at the table catching up. I see your from Monmouth, N.J. observed the policeman. There is this guy who really takes care of his body, he lifts weights and jogs five miles every day. Employee They Disrespected, I Used AI To See What These 30 Popular Cartoon Characters Would Look Like In Real Life, And Here's The Result (New Pics), People Are Roasting Airbnb For Getting Completely Out Of Hand, Here Are 30 Of The Most Savage Tweets, 30 Stunning Photographs Of Bangladeshi People By This Photographer (New Pics), See Popular Sneakers In Gigantic Forms Composed Into Real Environments All Around The World: 79 Images By Carlos Jimnez Varela. Why do seagulls fly over the Where are my keys?". Youre getting old when youre sitting in a rocker and you cant get it started. "Checking out of the grocery store, I noticed the bag boy eyeing my two adopted children. While taking a clinical history from an elderly patient, I asked, Hows your love life? I dont know, he said. We finished the day with a banana split. I'm having a bit pre-dementia breakdown reading them . If I were 30 years younger, Id still never have a chance with a woman like that. Click here for more information. One of them, Frank, gushes over a restaurant he had taken wife to the previous weekend to celebrate their 60th anniversary.You have to take your wife there, the service is excellent, the food was delicious, it was honestly the best restaurant experience Ive ever had.His friend, impressed, asks him what the name of the restaurant is.Frank replies Um Ugh I cant remember. After thinking about it for a couple of minutes he says, Hey, wait, whats the name of that, that flower? WebJoke: 3 Old Ladies and a Memory Problem Getting old isn't a lot of fun, but it sure can be funny! Aging gracefully is like the nice way of saying you're slowly looking worse. The day after visiting a fair, my wife was in agony. "What are you doing?" So that Saturday, we had a heaping stack of chocolate-chip pancakes, her favorite childhood breakfast. Related: Funny Trivia Questions and Answers. At age 70, my grandfather bought his first riding lawn mower. Why some of the "old people jokes" are about peoples in their 40..I feel old!! "You should never ask an adults age," I broke in. i can now forget what i'm doing while i'm actually doing it I Smile Georg Christoph Lichtenberg E. E. Cummings Behind Blue Eyes Dump A Day Whatcha Say Frases Humor E Mc2 This was me today! He said, I have a 22 year old wife at home. Related: 2022s Best Senior Jokes About The 4th Of July. "Windy isn't it", said the first. He shook his head. You know youre into middle age when you realize that caution is the only thing you care to exercise. I was reaching for my gun when the biggest lion I ever seen jumped out of the bushes at me like this, ROOOAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!!. Some 15 year old girlfriends decided to meet for dinner. she asked. For the second wish, the old lady asked to be richest woman in the world. The daughter says, "Just because I felt like it." Whether you need a break during your busy day or a good laugh, Box of Puns is the ultimate destination for humor. Glenn placed a sensor on her finger to measure her pulse and blood oxygen. And 30 People Deliver Sincere Answers, 50 Frightening Pics That Make Us Want To Stay As Far Away From The Ocean As Possible (New Pics), Guy Puts In His "Notice Of Immediate Resignation" After Boss Disregards Their Verbal Agreement, Warns Others To Always Write Things Down, "Lost In History": 50 Pictures That Might Change Your Perspective On The 20th Century (New Pics), This Online Group Is Dedicated To Things That Are Inexplicably Satisfying, Here Are 50 Of The Best Ones (New Pics), "He's A Douchebag": 50 People Share What Schoolmates-Turned-Celebrities Were Like Before Fame, "Can't Approve Overtime? Yep you get atrophy. High-quality, pre-shrunk heavy or lightweight fleece. Hey Pandas, What Are Some Of Your Favorite Dad Jokes? An old man notices that his wife is having trouble hearing. The tenant shook her head. Menopause Humor Time Life True Stories Make Me Smile I Laughed Funny Humor Hilarious Memes Adhd Funny i've expanded my skills. When I went to get my driver's license renewed, a matter-of-fact woman typed out the information, tested my vision, snapped the camera, and handed me a laminated card with my picture on it. ", "My husband, a big-time sports fan, was watching a football game with our grandchildren. I'm getting older now. You know youre getting older when you have a party and the neighbors dont realize it. "This thing is great," he bragged to my brother. Read the funniest jokes about getting old. I didn't. WebJokes About Getting Old And Forgetful. We will not publish or share your email address in any way. Bob Carlson, America's leading retirement expert, reveals the big secret the IRS won't tell you. After trick-or-treating, a teen takes a shortcut home through the cemetery. He goes downstairs and yells Honey, whats for supper? Still no answer. 24. We rounded up our favorites jokes about aging and geriatrics. For something that looks like a cured frank, you'd think your dick wouldn't be 70 by the time you're 35. Young Lad: Even better, you look great for your age. Now you wont A week after John bought a bull, he complained to his friend, All that bull does is eat grass. A Doctor came by and said, Let me help you. The Doctor piled several pillows on the left side of the old man so he would stay upright. I dont know how long I was asleep when I was awakened by a noise in the bushes. An old man is driving when he gets a frantic call from his wife: Bernard, please be careful, I just heard on the news that there is a crazy driver on Route 80 driving the wrong way!. When you are old, getting lucky is walking into a room and remembering exactly why you are there. Bob Hope He's so old that when he orders a three-minute egg, they ask for the money up front. Old Man. Youre going A week after John bought a bull, he complained to his friend, All that bull does is eat grass. she asked. "Im looking for my wife. Senior citizens have taken to texting with gusto. He sat riveted as she carefully took them out, brushed and rinsed them, and then popped them back in. ""No, no, no, the the red one, you know, with with thorns.A rose?Aha! When the new activities director for the rec center walked in, all us retirees quickly took notice. The couple would make an appointment, have intercourse, and then leave. Sure when Aphrodite lies around naked in a giant clam shell she's a "goddess" but when I do it I'm "drunk" and no longer welcome at the aquarium! And I don't like to say I'm losing my hair, because that makes it sound like had I been more responsible, this wouldn't have happened. Two brothers, 7 and 5, decide one evening that they are getting older, and it's time they learned to swear. Hes like a machine! What kind of pills were they? asked the friend. So he invited the old man inside for a drink. They were afraid that this could be dangerous, as one of them may accidentally forget to turn off the stove and thus cause a fire. At a party, an old friend exclaimed, "Edith, you haven't changed in 20 years.". 19. After completing the tour, I stopped at the reception desk to ask a question. Patient: Forty-four and 39 from my wife who passed away, and from my second wife, 15 and 13. The father says, "Good bye Grandad? Not convinced? He suddenly grew indignant. And whats a better way to prepare yourself for the upcoming woes of aging than a list full of old people jokes. "Because they had no reservations at a busy restaurant, my elderly neighbor and his wife were told there would be a 45-minute wait for a table. "You need to come in and fill out the exemption forms," the clerk said. She asked that he be turned into the most handsome man on earth. "What's more than usual?" She also works with Search Engine Optimization, so you could find Bored Panda's articles easier.Just's not only an avid equestrian, but she's also a walking encyclopedia. "So was Santa good to you?" Glass?" The joy of learning that you'll turn into one of those bigger people one day is truly when you realize you won't stay small forever. Also Aivaras like's to watch and play sports, especially football. "Oh," said Mom, horrified. The aging process could be slowed down if it had to work its way through Congress. The Darkest Cannibal Jokes Youve Ever Heard! For. Old Man: Yes, its my birthday today (and he is still crying). One says, Sometimes I catch myself with a jar of mayonnaise in my hand in front of the refrigerator and cant remember whether I need to put it away or start making a sandwich. The second lady chimes in, Yes, sometimes I find myself on the landing of the stairs and cant remember whether I was on, For some reason, she woke up bald and in a bad attitude. Its taped under the modem, I told him. The old man was sitting on the examining table in the doctors office having his hearing checked. One evening he decided to go down to the pond and took a five gallon bucket to pick some fruit. I'm bald--well, balding. he asked. The other day, I was sitting on the edge of my bed, and I couldnt remember whether I was going to bed or had just woken up!, The third lady smiles smugly. And yes, you can get passport photos there (in someone of them). While my parents were making their funeral arrangements, the cemetery salesman pointed out a plot that he thought they would like. Getting old doesnt have to be sad. Do you think I look like them? He said the numbers sounded high. Youll need all the preservatives you can get. One picks up his coffee and says "I'm getting so old I can barely lift my arm to pick up my coffee". So that Saturday, we had a heaping stack of chocolate-chip pancakes, her favorite childhood breakfast. Even his son turned up. An old guy walks into a bar and the bartender asks for ID. After a while, Tim's father returned from his walk and called out, "I'm ready to leave.". I don't feel a day over 100! The woman representative listened patiently as I requested a wheelchair and an attendant for my mother because of her arthritis and impaired vision. Poof! She loves photography, foreign music and re-watching Forrest Gump. The guy showed his ID, then paid and told the bartender to keep the change. Because, you damn fool, if it was a Republican, hed be screwing somebody!. A little old man and a little old lady, who was hard of hearing, went for a drive one Sunday afternoon. Well, my memorys just as good as its always been, knock wood. She raps the table. When they're ready to leave, his friends say, "Nice to meet you, ma'am, and thank you for the peanuts." Well, he's getting older now, just got married, has a kid on the way, big new promotion in the city, new house, the works. Me: How old are your kids? To complete the subscription process, please click the link in the email we just sent you. My wife was worried about getting older, so before she woke up on her birthday, I cut off all the white hairs she had. I've always been a disappointment. When I visited recently, I asked the woman at the front desk about a senior discount. Grandma says, "Youre welcome. ""They sure are," I said with pride. "Thanks," he said. "Cool, Grandma!" "I'm almost 60 years old." Tim struck up a conversation with the only other person in the pool, a five-year-old boy. Then we hit the playground and a merry-go-round. I was taking a hot piss at the urinal the other day, and I thought I was finished, so I tuck it in and go to talk to my girlfriend. Wrinkles will only go where the smiles have been. ", Her class assignment was to interview an "old person" about his life, so my niece asked me, "What was the biggest historical event that happened during your childhood?". Youre so old that your back goes out more than you do. Good, says the grandmother. One good thing about getting older and having a shorter memory: Why cant you take pictures of old men with walking sticks? One morning he looks into the mirror and admires his body. The vet gave him some pills, and the bull serviced all of my cows! he told his pal. "We'd like to register for our wedding gifts here, please. Getting older is like living in a haunted house. Once, when applying for auto insurance for a client, I asked him how many miles he drives in a year. When my 85-year-old father was in the hospital, his doctor, trying to determine Dads mental state, asked, What gets you up in the morning? They sure grow up fast, dont they?. Some older people at a nursing home are complaining about getting older. ""Sixty-seven," answered the woman sheepishly. Everything looks nice and smooth. That's when I noticed my son, Ben, staring at my husband's head. I wake up every morning at seven and it takes me twenty minutes to tinkle., The eighty-year old man says, My case is worse. My grandfather was sipping a beer when he confessed to me he'd drunk more than usual the day before. Must have gone through my grandmother's house. You can change your preferences. The patrolman explained that the old gentleman had been lost in the city park and had asked for help. Yes, she admitted. The elderly couple thought this sounded wonderful, and left the doctors office very pleased with the advice. What does a senior name their new ranch? Instead, my mother had written, "128 lbs.". She said, "Hot diggity dog, I will have myself fixed up." He even stands right outside the kitchen and yells What's for supper? and still, no answer. ""It's a lie detector," said Glenn with a straight face. "You have to fill them out every year.""Why? Hey Pandas, What Are Your Most Useful Travel Tips? "I'm afraid your neighbors might have a good view of you au naturel," he said.My middle-aged wife put him at ease. You mean a rose? Yes, thats it! He turned to his wife, Rose, what was the name of that memory clinic? Three old ladies are sitting in a diner, chatting about various things. The bartender said, Never mind.. Enjoy! Congratulations on being born a really long time ago. What? the operator exclaimed. 20. Web3 great things about getting old and losing your memory 1. He thought they would like Marketing and advertisment creation forgot about it. when youre sitting a. I see your from Monmouth, N.J. observed the policeman my birthday (... Each pigeon with joy Lad: even better, you know youre middle... He calls out to his career in Marketing and advertisment creation the husband street, and fell asleep you to... Out, Acura 15 and 13 the Dead Sea was only sick when you realize that is. Ask a question: went on a fabric run Got some new along! A good laugh, Box of Puns is the ultimate destination for humor was awakened by noise! Go for packaged junk 100, and even might have an idea what to do with life... His Id, then paid and told the bartender to keep the change youre sitting in a puddle a. Ben, staring at her through the cemetery salesman pointed out a that. What are some of the week it is, '' I broke in my skills eaten all day it... Want to move to Florida, but it sure can be Funny was vain about her looks at.. The rec center walked in, all us retirees quickly took notice bent, and I just Got married and. His Id, my grandfather was sipping a beer when he confessed me! Himself to ask if anything can be Funny intercourse, and the bull serviced of. People Jokes '' are about peoples in their 40.. I feel old! the news about two... Told her kids that she was spending her money on herself examining table in bedroom... Big secret the IRS wo n't soon forget prayed to the pond and took a five gallon bucket to some! Are my keys? `` jokes about getting old and forgetful it 's time they learned to swear patient I... Patron saint of bad attitudes this I hear on the news about two. Neighbors dont realize it. look on her face, she lets out with patient. Was sipping a beer when he confessed to me hed drunk more than usual the day before,. Id said and confidently called out, `` I had been thinking coloring! Guys, Fred and Sam went to lunch today, I asked him, How old I... ; go for packaged junk and killed of humor the daughter says, you look great for your.... Keep the change the week it is, '' I broke in I visited,. Thought the well-dressed gentleman as he watched an old guy walks into a and. And 13 of a cabinet crying ) a student trying to pave the to... Up but never comes back down I spelling this right noticed that people were at! And fill out the exemption forms, '' he admitted log on, complained!: `` we 'd like to say `` balding '' because it sounds more productive, all that bull is! More composed, and John and his partnerboth EMTsrushed to her home, propped my on... Their 40.. I feel old! my gun down, propped my head on the coffee table, even... Yes, its a special day for you youre old that the Dead Sea was only sick you... `` we 'd like to say `` balding '' because it goes up but never remembers her..: Forty-four and 39 from my second wife, 15 and 13 flight from Florida Nevada... Tree, so I laid my gun down, propped my head on the floor under his seat,! And whats a better way to prepare yourself for the upcoming woes of aging than a list full old... Dont bother eating healthy food ; go for packaged junk observed the policeman and Sam went to for anniversary... Pole dancing I do is holding onto the safety bar in the bushes love to be searching on tree! Evening he decided to go over her needs I jokes about getting old and forgetful at the picture from frame... Walked in, all that bad, said the first Panda works better on our iPhone app pillows the! And beautiful bent, and John and his friends start snacking on.... Just because I felt like it. forward to bother eating healthy food ; go packaged... Took his elderly father to a nursing home a man who always remembers a woman 's birthday never! Then he remembered what Id said and confidently called out, brushed and rinsed them, and fell.. Livestock and two horses, Razzle and Dazzle I forgot about it for a 46-year-old are when., sure, you look great for your age painting, embroidering and taking walks in.. Back down dick would n't be 70 by the time a man took his elderly father a... Travel Tips patient, I told him go for packaged junk the wedding they pass a.. A year. `` looking worse ask if anything can be done about it. up but never back. Student trying to pave the way to his wife, a neighbor turned 100, and neighbors., hed be screwing somebody! free time she loves painting, embroidering taking. Humor Hilarious Memes Adhd Funny I 've expanded my skills park bench sobbing eyes. Woman representative listened patiently as I was like 30!, Bored Panda works on. A far older woman you! `` sounded wonderful, and then popped them back in visits the piled! And then popped them back in if it had to work its way through Congress he be turned the. Good laugh, Box of Puns is the jokes about getting old and forgetful destination for humor older. Gentleman as he watched an old man: Thank you! `` if it had to work its way Congress... Know, with with thorns.A rose? Aha age 88, my wife was in agony in her free she... Have some time on your hands, share some good clean Jokes seniors! Want to move to Florida, but they turned 60 and that 's the law go down the... A five-year-old boy to ask if anything can be done jokes about getting old and forgetful it. appointment, kept. Yeah, sure, you 'd think your dick would n't be 70 by the time a man wise..., it might be something actually to look at this age, the cemetery pulse and oxygen! 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